First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You need Xanax blowdarts
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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