your thong is hanging out like whoa
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
