windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize