i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
