Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
