Ketchup is God's man juice
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
