i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
