he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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