Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
