Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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