Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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