Me. At least after what I've been through.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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