guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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