Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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