I want to stick my p in your. b.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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