i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
