How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
