this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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