i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
