piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
this is an emotional support booty call
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
