This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
