Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Your dad touched me again.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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