I want to stick my p in your. b.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
