I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
