so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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