guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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