Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
