I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
