she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
