life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You ruined the universe
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
