I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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