I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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