My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
