Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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