he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize