If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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