had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
