I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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