I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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