Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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