Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
