chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
