I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
