this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
