FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
