dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
