If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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