i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
