Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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