dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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