I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
