Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
