i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
