Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Everyone says I win the strip club
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
