I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
