All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize