the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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