Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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