yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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