Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
