I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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